I've started with a new therapist and am wondering whether I already need to start looking for someone new. Our last session went really poorly in my opinion, and she didn't even seem to notice. She was so cheery it made me sick. I was there to seriously strategize about how to beat depression and have a better life and wanted to share my plans, and she was almost jumping up and down about little things I did, like reaching out to friends on the internet! (Yes, you all have been super helpful, but I also have a lot of work to do.)

Then she was barraging me with questions rather than listening. And she was making judgements - like scowling when I expressed that I don't see my family and saying it was good that I had talked to my father. Then she pronounced that I am stuck and won't ever get anywhere unless I forgive my family and just start volunteering my time and 'getting involved' in causes. This was infuriating! I have forgiven my family but my mother continues to be verbally abusive so I need to distance myself. My 18 years being abused in my family home has left ME as this scared little girl boxed into a corner, tentatively "living life" to try to please others and avoid being noticed and beat up. I feel like I've spent my life going through the motions of helping others and doing what is expected of me and I have decided that IT IS NOT A LIFE WORTH LIVING, so I am at square one - with nothing - trying to figure out how I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE and more importantly, how to find the courage to do so. For the Therapist to say things like "relax", volunteer, forgive, eat breakfast - totally ignores all the complex thinking processes and decisions that going into determining values and making life choices and strategizing how to deal with people reacting badly or my own setbacks. I worry that she (1) is too stupid to talk about the meaning of life and (2) thinks her job is just to say what is on her mind to me an hour a week not requiring remembering last week, my history, my big picture goals and really working with me on them. I wish insurance would cover life-coaching, seems like a life-coach would have a more appropriate outlook at this point! I have seen like 10 therapists over the past 15 years as I moved a bunch and liked ONE, but don't live in the same state as her anymore. I am at the end of my rope and am guessing I have to start having intro meetings with every covered therapist within a 5 mile radius and pray that I click with someone. Not looking forward to this process. Anyone have any suggestions or similar stories?? Thanks.